


made it through everything (the old and the new)

by madnessiseverything



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Drabble, azu doesn't like him but can appreciate emotion, but fits neatly into ep 129 weee!, hamid is only there by virtue of being in the cell too, he's a sleepy man ok, written post ep 128, zolf tries emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-18 00:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessiseverything/pseuds/madnessiseverything
Summary: “So you’re their Zolf, then.”“Yeah. I am.”“Why did you leave?"the one where an attempt at vulnerability and conversation is made.





	made it through everything (the old and the new)

**Author's Note:**

> so hello rqg fandom i guess this is my first contribution?? wrote this in a fevered rush after ep 128 aired and then totally procrastinated on editing out my typos. but hey, just listened to ep 129 and it theoretically still fits so :D enjoy this teeny little piece
> 
> title from "the london air raids" by vian izak

Azu tries not to talk. She does. She is angry, tired, hurt. But Hamid is asleep, curled up against her side and she is too aware of the empty spaces. She aches. She doesn't like the man keeping guard, doesn’t like him at all. But she thinks about the way Sasha and Hamid sometimes looked to their side, left pauses unfilled as if there was a third party they thought should pitch in. Thinking about Sasha _hurts_ and so she talks. “So you’re their Zolf, then.” 

“Yeah. I am.” 

“Why did you leave?” It comes out biting and Azu doesn’t care. She is cold and in a cell, and Zolf is sitting comfortably on the side of freedom. 

Zolf doesn’t flinch like she feels he should have. But he freezes, hands on their way to turning a page. With a sigh, he closes the book and turns to face her fully. The torchlight flickers over the frown on his face. 

“Because I was in no fit state to be a leader, much less a friend.” 

“You hurt them.” 

“Well. I wasn’t exactly harmless while I was with them.” He pauses, wrings his hands and sighs. “How much did they tell you?” 

Azu shifts against the bars. “Not too much. You gave them jobs, you lead them. Terrible things happened and you left them in Prague.” 

“I was an awful leader,” comes the hushed response. Azu looks up to find Zolf’s eyes on Hamid. “We fought, badly. We didn’t hate each other, gods no, I- well. Paris took its toll. I was a wreck and it showed. I was barely a leader at that point.” Zolf exhales, fingers tapping against his knee. “We were all angry, confused, hurt. And then Bertie-” Zolf stops himself and shakes his head. “I was hurting them all by staying. Leaving was not going to make it worse.” 

Azu opens her mouth, but Zolf is faster. “I know it’s not a good solution, never was. But it was the only one I saw. I felt utterly broken, and I could not stand to become more of a burden than I already was. I had to- take a breather.” Zolf chuckles and looks back up to Azu. “Not that it ended up the way I’d hoped. What with the world going to absolute shite.” 

“I think,” Azu starts, slowly. She’s angry, but she recognizes the vulnerability. She thinks Zolf isn’t quite used to conversations like this. “I think you leaving hurt them more than you realize. But I understand that sometimes things become more complicated.” 

“Trust me,” Zolf says with a soft laugh, “I’ve had a lot of time to question my past actions.” He looks back to Hamid and Azu takes careful note of the shift in emotion. “It’s been a while.”

And Azu is acutely aware that it’s been over a year since Zolf last saw Hamid. She looks at the dwarf, takes in the taut line of his shoulders, and wonders. How different is he to the person Sasha and Hamid always left room for? How much can a person grow in eighteen months of war and apocalypse? 

“It has. I think you two should talk.” 

Zolf leans back and nods slowly. “We should.” He taps against the bars with a wry smile. “Once the protocol has been satisfied.” 

Azu glowers at him and Zolf picks his book back up. “Try and get some rest.” 

Azu doesn’t like him. She listens to his advice just as much as she did the first time he’d said it. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nottanycritter) and [tumblr](https://extinctioniscoming.tumblr.com/)


End file.
